Recently, I had the opportunity to give a brief talk at an event where I was one of the featured authors. While I was preparing for the talk, I started thinking about my true purpose in writing my book (titled Money Basics, for sale here on newcashview.com, shameless plug). When I stood up to give my talk, I said I had a hidden agenda in writing the book and starting newcashview.com. There were a lot of curious stares at that comment. What could I possibly mean by that? I’m going to tell you. This month’s blog topic is an in depth peak at the hidden agenda behind my book and website.
As many of you know, I’ve been a practicing bankruptcy attorney for coming up on sixteen years, give or take. What you may not know is I’ve been a student of mindfulness for about fifteen years. You see, finding my true purpose in life has been a hard journey that started when my mom died unexpectedly, just before she turned sixty. It was her death that triggered a weird spiral into some intense introspection that lead me to my ultimate life’s purpose.
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When she died, I was well into my career as a lawyer. I had just ended a long term relationship and, for the first time ever, I was living completely alone. The introspection started when I tried to reconcile her lifetime of suffering and struggling financially with the fact that she never appeared to achieve happiness. Of course, I can’t presume to know her heart and mind but, my perception is that she was never really a happy person and I did not want to end up like that if I could help it.
Her unhappiness, in my view, was the product of two things. First, she had a hard life in general. She experienced decades of hardship, not the least of which included being a single parent to four children and having to make ends meet on the pittance she earned from whatever factory job she could get. This leads me to the second issue she faced. She never had any money. If you’ve been paying attention to any of my content, you are well acquainted with that fact. You are also probably aware of how being broke generally exacerbates whatever difficulties people are already facing. If you are struggling to overcome a life of hardship, being broke just adds fuel to the fire you are already walking through while clothed in kindling.
So, here I was in my early thirties, trying to come to grips with the death of my mother. I was feeling tremendously sad that she died unfulfilled. I was also questioning whether her life would have been any different if she had more money. Here I was with an education, a career, a house, a car and a plan. However, I honestly couldn’t say that I was any happier than she was or had ever been, for that matter. While I never suffered most of the things she experienced, I was still finding that I was unhappy. That was very confusing to me. I had achieved a great measure of success, well beyond that of my parents and still, I wasn’t happy. Now that, my friends, was a scary moment. It really stinks when you realize happiness doesn’t come from the things you were told your whole life to achieve in order to be happy. Talk about a letdown!
It took a really long time for me to get my mind around this quandary. I had to hit quite a few dead ends before I finally started to realize where you get happiness from. Spoiler alert, it isn’t your career or your bank account. Happiness is in an inside job. Period. If you can’t get your mind around that, you will continue to suffer, no matter how much money you have or don’t have.
Okay, so what is the point of this blog? Well, once I realized that happiness doesn’t have anything to do with money, I started wondering how to teach people to find what happiness the way I did, without the traumatic experience of the death of a parent part. I slowly began to realize that a smart way to do that is through our personal finances. I need to back up a little to explain what I mean.
In order to find happiness, you need to look inside yourself. The only time you can do that is now, in the present moment. That is mindfulness and awareness, basic happiness tools, in a very tiny nutshell. One powerful way to teach that technique is to teach you how to how to be aware when you are spending money. Be mindful of how you spend money by being aware of your spending in the present moment. Training yourself to pay close attention to your finances ultimately trains you how to be mindful and aware generally, in a non-woo woo kind of way. (And yes, non-woo woo is an official, technical term).
It works on different levels, too. If, for example, you want to bring more awareness to your health look at your budget to see how you are eating. Are you spending a lot of money eating out? Look at your budget to find out and then adjust accordingly. Look at where you are spending your money and see what your life priorities have been. It may surprise you!
Therein lies the nugget of my hidden agenda. Using your personal finances to help you learn mindfulness and awareness through money management techniques. My hope is that this in turn, will help you learn how to find happiness and peace. You only have this moment. Make the most of it by being present, mindful and aware.
Be at peace.
The Dollar Lama
P.S. Make sure you check out my online courses, books and resources, too! Investing in your money management education is an investment in yourself. That’s the best investment you’ll ever make, I guarantee it! Don’t forget my weekly Facebook live videos on Facebook.com/newcashview, Instagram @joyalfordbrand and on my YouTube channel NCVTV. You can catch me twice, on Mondays between 3:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. for my Monday Money Management Minute and Thursday evenings between 7:00 and 9:00 (Eastern Standard time), for my weekly NCVTV episode. They are packed full of useful and entertaining money management information! If you’ve missed any NCVTV episodes, you can see the latest on newcashview.com or you can check out my YouTube channel and get caught up! You can get there by clicking here. Remember, like and share the NCVTV videos on Facebook and all your social media platforms, so others can benefit from them, too!
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