Recently I read a book that really hit home for me. The book is called Hand to Mouth: Living in Bootstrap America by Linda Tirado. If you’ve ever experienced what it’s like to live paycheck to paycheck, this book could read like an autobiography. On the other hand, if you’ve never experienced what that feels like, it can be a very hard read.
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I’ve actually written and talked quite a bit about my background and growing up in poverty. In fact, I published a blog two years ago about this very topic and I talk about being from a poor family pretty regularly. When I read Linda Tirado’s book, I decided it was important to continue the discussion about poverty and how it effects the lives of Americans in destructive and subtle ways to try to help break the stigma around poverty.
Being poor sucks. While that may be crass, there’s no other way to say it more clearly and get the point across. Living in poverty guts your soul in a way that can be irreparable. There are recent studies that show that poverty actually reduces intellectual ability. That fact alone bothers me tremendously. However, I don’t find it all that surprising. Mahatma Gandhi once said “poverty is the worst form of violence.” While I’m not sure I can agree entirely with that statement, I do agree that it’s pretty darn close. And, if there is a book that communicates how brutal and dark living hand to mouth can be, this book is it. Speaking from experience, I can attest to the truth and logic contained in those pages.
For me, the most interesting thing about her book is that of all the hard truths she writes about, the most difficult truth is implied. That truth is this: we are all really just an illness, accident, divorce, lawsuit or tragedy away from living hand to mouth. She actually never says this directly in the book but, she does talk about having a car accident in her early twenties that caused her to lose some teeth, which she discusses at length in a powerful YouTube video. I heard the message loud and clear. Once you start in that downward spiral, it can be impossible to pull yourself out of it.
The first time she addresses this dark reality directly is in an online interview sometime after the book was published. In that interview, she answers the question of why so many people scorned her and the book. Apparently, there were people saying she was making the whole thing up because she appeared educated and articulate, therefore certainly she could make better choices and shouldn’t be living in poverty, right? Well, I’ve got a newsflash for you, education or intellect does not guarantee you will not experience poverty. In fact, with the sky-rocketing cost of a college degree, it can actually push you into poverty by trapping you into decades of crushing student loan debt.
The truth is, we all want to believe that if we work hard enough, get good grades and do all the right things, we’ll make plenty of money and be shiny, happy people. We want to believe that working hard gives us control over our circumstances. That isn’t necessarily true. While we can take steps to insulate ourselves from tragedy (having a will, buying insurance, saving money and avoiding debt, to name a few), there are still life changing events that can devastate us financially, emotionally and physically.
These days it takes more than hard work and merit to make a comfortable life, much less build wealth and save for retirement. While I still believe you can stave off the financial consequences of most disasters by following my top five financial rules (see my book Money Basics, Chapter 1), there is one crucial ingredient you must have for a successful life, especially if you are poor. You need grit. Plain and simple.
Grit is what helps you bootstrap your way out of the well of poverty. Grit helps you to accept the fact that yes, poverty is a tough (sometimes impossible), cycle to break. Then, as you cultivate it (which you can do), it allows you to reach deep down inside, grab onto that backbone and persist like your life depends on it, because it does. Grit is what makes you keep showing up and putting one foot in front of the other without knowing for sure what tomorrow will bring. Because, the truth is, we don’t know. Control is just an illusion. We really have no idea what tomorrow holds in store for us. You just have to keep doing the best you can to make good decisions in the hope that sooner or later, something might give.
Having said all that, can I tell you for sure that you’ll dig your way out? No. Sorry. I wish I could but I can’t. I would be lying through my teeth if I said there will eventually be a light at the end of the tunnel. Many times there is, but not always. Of course, it is possible to win the lottery but nothing in life is guaranteed. The truth is, you can try and try and try and still not dig yourself out. I’ve seen many people make what would appear to be good choices and still get dragged back into the well, sadly. Is it fair? Maybe not, but arguing with reality doesn’t get you anywhere or leave you better off.
So, is all hope lost? Well, I can’t say but I do know this one truth for sure. You’re situation will not be helped by giving up hope. If the best you can do every day is to wake up and get out of bed, then take the win and try to do it again tomorrow. Sometimes, all we have in life is our capacity for gratitude and hope. The lucky thing is, sometimes that is enough. While I can’t guarantee you’ll break the poverty cycle, I can’t say you’re doomed to it either. You know why? Because I broke the poverty cycle and bootstrapped my way out through sacrifice, effort, persistence and grit. Let me tell you, I’m not any different than you or Linda Tirado. The good news is, if I can do it, you can, too! Just remember, you’ll never break the cycle if you quit or give up.
Sincerely,
The Dollar Lama
P.S. Make sure you check out my online courses, books and resources, too! Investing in your money management education is an investment in yourself. That’s the best investment you’ll ever make, I guarantee it! Don’t forget my weekly Facebook live videos on Facebook.com/newcashview, Instagram @joyalfordbrand and on my YouTube channel NCVTV. You can catch me twice, on Mondays between 3:00 p.m. and 4:00 p.m. for my Monday Money Management Minute and Thursday evenings between 7:00 and 9:00 (Eastern Standard time), for my weekly NCVTV episode. They are packed full of useful and entertaining money management information! If you’ve missed any NCVTV episodes, you can see the latest on newcashview.com or you can check out my YouTube channel and get caught up! You can get there by clicking here. Remember, like and share the NCVTV videos on Facebook and all your social media platforms, so others can benefit from them, too!
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