“Quid pro quo, Clarice!”

 

Ah, October 20, 2016.  You know what day this is?  I’ll tell you.  Here in North Carolina it’s the first day you can get in your car, drive to your county seat and vote.  If you’re anything like me, you’ve been ready for November 9th since, oh… about January.  You also may be asking yourself, “what in the world does the date have to do with personal finance?”  Of course, the underlying message involves why you need to take responsibility for your financial situation, but that’s just part of it. 

 

First of all, there are always financial consequences after any election, history has shown us that.  However, there is something else brewing that I think it’s important to talk about, and this election season has brought it to the surface.  And, at the end of the day it really can affect your finances.

 

So, unless you live in a cave, you’ve probably noticed that people are unhappy, and I mean really, REALLY unhappy. There’s nowhere the anger is more obvious than on social media.  If you are on social media at all, you are seeing the ugliness come out in force.  It’s everywhere, though.  For example, I was at dinner a few nights ago and of course, the conversation turned to the election.  I asked the question, “why are people being so ugly about this election?” 

 

Fortunately, the crowd was pretty chill and even keeled.  Even so, the answer I got to my question was both obvious and astounding, at the same time.  “So many people feel disenfranchised.”  Of course, there’s a lot to be said, debated, and discussed about disenfranchisement.  That’s not the purpose of this blog, even though that’s an important discussion that we really need to have.  I think the more important and pressing conversation is what to do about all this ugliness.  So, I’m gonna take a stab at it…  (no pun intended).

 

I think we can start dealing with the cause of the ugliness at the personal level.  Here’s what it boils down to, if you are unhappy with anything in your life, including your finances, your weight, or this election, the way to change it is to take responsibility for it.  Yep, you read that right.  I said we, as individuals, need to take responsibility for this election. 

 

Now, before you stand outside my house with pitchforks and torches ablaze, hear me out.  When I say “we,” I’m talking about each and every one of us who collectively, form our society.  Kind of like the Borg, (you know, the one from Star Trek?  Of course you do, 5 of 9).  Each one of us, as we sit in our La-Z-Boy recliners and clutch our remote controls with a death grip that only a 13 year old kid intent on watching Dr. Who can break, needs to take responsibility for what is happening in every part of our lives because it ultimately affects our society.

 

I can hear the arguments now, “You can’t hold me responsible for what someone else does, especially some dirtbag politician.”  Or, “I’m responsible!  I work, I pay my taxes and I’m sending my kids to college.  Marge, find my pitchfork, I need to set this Dollar Lama straight!”  That’s not the responsibility I’m talking about. 

 

When I talk about responsibility in this context, I’m not talking about the practical things like, making money, paying your bills, and raising your family.  Don’t get me wrong, those things are very, very important and need to be attended to.  A lot you are really very good at that kind of responsibility, too! 

 

What I’m talking about is the kind of responsibility that is a whole lot harder to pin down than the practical kind.  You can’t assign a tangible value to it.  The best way I can describe it is by calling it the responsibility of choice.  Just like the practical responsibility of paying our bills, the responsibility of choice starts with the individual, but has far greater rewards than money in the bank.

 

How exactly does that work?  Like this, first you have to make a commitment to the responsibility of choice.  This means you agree that in order to be happier, healthier, and just plain better, you are willing to be open to another way of thinking about things, even if you just can’t see any other way at the moment. 

 

After you make that commitment, when you see, experience, or feel something that you aren’t happy about, the next step is that you pause and ask some questions.  Start by asking yourself, “why am I upset about this?”  Give yourself a minute to come up with an answer, remembering all the time that in the moment that you are safe, (as long as you aren’t being chased by Freddy Krueger or on fire, or something crazy like that).

 

Then ask yourself, “is it possible that I’m missing something?”  The answer to that question is almost always yes.  After all, except for Stephen Hawking, Deepak Chopra, and Yoda it’s impossible to know everything.  The real reason you need to ask this question is before we can make a decision about something, we have to make sure we have all the information we need to make a good decision.  That goes for everything from what insurance policy you should buy, to the best kind of hamburger to eat, and the right politician to vote for. 

 

Sadly, we can’t just take the ready-made information we see on television or the internet as the be all end all.  I mean, everyone knows that guy was not a French model, am I right?  It’s important to remember that sometimes you have to put in a little effort before you get a true answer.  I think we can all agree on that.

 

Finally, you need to ask yourself this critical question, does it satisfy the Golden Rule?  Yes, I know this is pretty high on the cheese meter.  I get that it sounds goofy and trite.  You know what, though?  I’m okay with goofy and trite, you know why?  Because, that doesn’t make it any less true.  If you look at every major religion, you’ll find that the unifying thread in each one of them is a version of the Golden Rule.  Every. single. one.  It’s also something we’ve learned all throughout life, starting on the playground.  If you stomp on little Jimmy’s marble, he’s gonna stomp on yours, right?  Be a little nicer, and you might win the marble fair and square!

 

What we often fail to see is, it’s in the Golden Rule that we find the connection between our responsibility of choice and another person’s actions.  When we are treating others as we ourselves want to be treated, we are showing them how to treat us.  See how that works?  There’s your quid pro quo!  It’s not rocket science, it’s a responsible choice. 

 

Thanks to the fact that we’ve been taught the Golden Rule as children, so much so that it’s become goofy and trite, we should all have a really good understanding of it by now.  Thank you, goofy triteness for helping us remember how to make big changes by doing something so easy!

 

If you put the pieces together, see the simplicity in the responsibility of choice and apply it whenever you are feeling less than thrilled about something, you’ll be on the path to being happier, healthier, and thinner!  Okay, maybe not thinner but, you get the idea.    

 

The moral of the story is, we all have a chance to be happier by making a choice to do so, which will make the world a much better place!  Of course, you may not see the result of this before November 8th but, at least you’ll know you’re headed in the right direction and you don’t have to waste your energy on being upset about the outcome.  

 

So, to bring it home, remember that this idea applies to your personal finances, too.  In other words, like anything else in life, managing your money starts with taking responsibility for your financial situation.  See how that works?  Feeling better already, aren’t you?  I thought so.  Now, go make yourself a grilled cheese sandwich and remember, happiness is a choice!

 

Sincerely,

Joy Alford-Brand

Your Dollar Lama

 

P.S.  Don’t forget to check out Money Basics for a quick, fun read about money management and our online courses by clicking here to help you with credit management and budgeting.

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