Money Management for People Who Are Living Paycheck to Paycheck

Five Things I Tell People Who Are Living Paycheck to Paycheck

The first thing I say to them is, I’ve been there.  If they don’t believe me because they are talking to a lawyer who clearly has money, I start telling them stories about my childhood.  Like, how the lights got turned off all the time, and how we were homeless as a family at least twice (it happened to my mom and I a third time but that’s a story for another blog).  We never had enough money.  I can remember times when we didn’t have any food in the house either.  Seriously, when I say I’ve been there, I’m not joking.  I’ve been there.

Now, once they see my sincerity and that I know what I’m talking about, they are more willing to listen.  When we’ve built enough trust so that they know I’m not just blowing smoke and sunshine at them.  I tell them this.  First and foremost, you are still a person with value, purpose and resources.  You can still walk, talk and breathe.  Tap into to that truth.  That’s where you begin.

If you need a task to help you open that up in you, even if it’s just a crack, pray for someone.  It can be anyone, as long as it’s not you or someone you regularly pray for.  You may say, “but I’m not religious, I don’t pray.”  That’s fine because the religious aspect of this exercise is not the point at all.  Don’t turn this into something it’s not or try to find an excuse not to do the exercise.

If you don’t like the “dear lord” language, spend 3 minutes thinking about someone and using the phrase “I bestow blessings and prosperity,” on him or her.  If you really want to give it some juice, pick someone you don’t like.  Yes, you heard me.  Pick someone who irritates or annoys you and wish blessings and prosperity on them, then stay tuned.  See what happens.  Even if it is only a slight change in your mood, it was well worth it.

The most important thing to remember while you are doing this exercise is how you do it.  (This goes for any time you are meditating, doing affirmations, praying, or whatever your practice is; for our purposes, we’re gonna stick with the “prayer” language).  It’s important not to pray from a place of desperation and lack.  Pray from a place of power and abundance.  Don’t pray like this: “Lord, I need your help!  I don’t know what I’m going to do, how I’m going to feed these kids and buy them school clothes with no help and no money.”

Instead, pray like this: “Lord, everyone is safe and healthy and for that, I am thankful.  Money is tight but, I can still walk, talk and breathe.  I am open to all blessings and I am grateful for them.”  You see the difference?  It’s not easy to make this shift, but you can do it.  Oh, and fyi, this technique is also changing your mindset.  How about that for sneaky!

Second, go out and help someone.  You may be saying, “I’m the one who needs help!”  Well, yes.  Of course you do.  So do I.  In fact, we all need help at some point.  The idea is to identify someone who needs help more than you in the moment and then go and help them.  It doesn’t have to be a big thing either.  It can be something simple like dragging someone’s trash can back to the curb or picking up some trash on their porch and throwing it away.

Now don’t forget the most important part of this exercise, you must do it without the expectation of anything in return.  That one is tricky.  Lots of people will balk at this because we have been conditioned not to help anyone unless we are getting something out of it.  No matter how hard it is, do it anyway.  I guarantee that if you look around, there is someone close by who needs some help, and you know it.  Now, don’t do it begrudgingly, with a bad attitude.  That will defeat the purpose.  Just do it with a smile and a, “don’t worry about it,” attitude.  While the payoff may not be a pile of cash, it will be tremendous, I guarantee it.

Third, stop making your poverty the king of your mind and thoughts.  Yes, it sucks being poor.  I know that in a very real way.  No matter how hard you work sometimes, poverty will not go away overnight.  You may be saying, “it has for some people, I could win the lottery.”  Well, yes, that’s true.  However, in this moment, your financial situation is what it is.  You have to accept it and then put it out of your mind.  Focus on doing what is in front of you, rather than continuously struggling under the weight of constant “woe is me.”

The goal is to keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Keep moving forward.  Stop standing still in the quicksand of your poverty mantra.  Change your mantra.  When you start getting stuck again, or when something bad happens to you, instead of the same old comfortable clothes of “it always happens to me, I should just expect it,” give yourself a mental shake and say, “okay, that’s done and it sucks but… what’s next?  How can I keep moving forward.”

People who have no money are extremely resourceful and hardworking.  The stereotype of the lazy poor person is just not true.  Being lazy is usually not the problem or the reason someone is broke.  They don’t need more physical work or things to do.  Broke people need a paradigm shift.  They need to change the way they see things at a basic level.  Again, it doesn’t happen overnight but, it does happen.  I know it does, because it happened to me, a poor kid from the Ohio rust belt.  I had to work at it but I managed to do it.  Therefore, I know you can, too!  The key is it takes some mental effort.  You must make a commitment to change your paradigm and think differently, this is how you begin to lift yourself out of poverty.

Fourth, everyone, and I mean everyone, needs a gratitude practice.  You just do.  This is the easiest part of the whole shebang.  Every morning when you wake up, think of one thing to be thankful for.  Even if you are homeless on the street, I guarantee you have one thing to be thankful for, the change in the seasons, a shaft of sunlight, the smile of a stranger.  There is always, always something to be grateful for.  Spend time just being grateful.  This is critical to every part of life and I cannot stress it enough.  If you have breath in your body, you can be grateful for something.

Fifth, and finally, never give up your hope.  You have to keep it alive and keep moving forward.  One thing about my parents that mattered more than anything else, they never stopped trying, no matter how bad things got.  It’s like that quote from Wayne Gretsky, “you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”  He was right.  If you quit trying and just give up, getting by just doing the bare minimum, what does that get you?  A life without hope is a life without purpose or joy!  And you, as a fellow human being, no matter what your circumstance is in life, deserve happiness and joy.  Life can, and often does, change on a dime.  Stay hopeful and keep the faith.  Take it from me, someone who has been there, no matter what your current financial situation is, you can build wealth and be happy.

Joy Alford-Brand, Esq.

Your Dollar Lama

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